clark kent is dead

i’ve been under a lot of pressure lately, most of it self-imposed.  i’ve been slowly turning into the person that i swore i would never be – the one that is married to his job, the one who can’t take a day off, who loses touch with the people he loves, loses sight of what’s important and what is not, who snaps at the slightest thing – all because my job has become my life.  granted, my job is a bit unusual in the fact that i really am the only one who can do it; if i take a day off, no one will be there to pick up the slack.

i also don’t have a boss to yell at me for taking a long lunch or a half day because it’s sunny.  i only have the boss inside of my head and lately, she’s been a real bitch.  she’s been demanding all of my time, asking me to work overtime, weekends, holidays, late into the night with barely time to breathe.  slowly but surely, work has consumed all of my thoughts, all of my time, all of my energy.

my relationships have suffered.  i have friends who haven’t seen me in months.  i may have ruined the best chance at happiness that i’ve had in a long time and damaged a friendship in the process.  on top of it all, i lost track of the most important person in my life – me.

in trying to be superman all the time, i killed clark kent.