Into the Queering

queer (kwer), adj. 1. differing from what is usual or ordinary; odd; singular; strange. 2. slightly ill; qualmish; giddy. 3. [Colloq.] doubtful; suspicious. 4. [Colloq.] having mental quirks; eccentric. 5. [Slang] counterfeit; not genuine. 6. [Slang] homosexual. – SYN. see strange. *

mind (mind), n. … a) what one thinks; opinion: as, speak your mind. b) what one intends, wishes, or wills; purpose or desire: as, I have a (good) mind to go. *

* see Webster’s New World Dictionary for full definition of terms

Throughout history, the word queer has gone through a number of evolutions of meaning.  Whilst once only referring to that which is different from the norm, it has in its life taken on derogatory or inflammatory meanings, at times referring to something that is suspect or untrustworthy, at others referring to people who live outside of the norms of society.  It has run in the same circles as homo, faggot, dyke, lesbo and tranny; rubbed elbows with unusual, eccentric, unique, one-of-a-kind, and extraordinary; stood in for ambiguous, indistinct, fluid, oblique.

In our time, queer is in the process of being lifted out of the gutter, dusted off and becoming a label that defies the practice of labeling itself.  In a world where we feel the need for everyone we meet to pass an introductory examination, placing the appropriate ticks in the appropriate columns so that we know whether or not they are one of ‘us’ or one of ‘them’ the labeling process can become quite tedious.  Carrying around words like gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, transgendered, gender neutral, ambigendered, intersexed, male, female, black, white, republican, democrat, libertarian, antidisestablishmentarian, [ad nauseaum] is exhausting.

Figuring out which people fit into which boxes, are for you or against you, love you or hate you, accept you or judge you, are worthy of your acceptance or subject to your judgment, are friend or foe and making sure they stay put once properly categorized rules our lives.  More time and energy is expended judging whether a person is outwardly worthy of our company than what it would take to actually listen to them to learn who they are on the deeper levels of being.

Homophobia is rampant, violent words and actions garnering a lot of press.  The marriage debate has had everyone from Ellen to the Pope putting in their two cents and collecting their fifteen minutes.  No matter a person’s background or political standing, you can ask their opinion and without batting an eye, they will tell you whether gay marriage is a legal right or a moral wrong.  Everyone is up in arms about how two people live their lives, dragging all of our private affairs into the open air for everyone to see.  Every vote, every decision, every statement, every opinion is splashed across our screens, keeping us engaged and often enraged at peoples’ seeming hostility.

If you ask me, this is a good thing.  Even though our country is divided and the fight for equal rights is grueling, even though odds seem to be stacked against the LGBT community, we’re still winning.  Fifty years ago, when the Civil Rights movement was gaining ground, when hordes of people were marching in the streets to declare their humanity and demand equal treatment, no one noticed when a transgendered person was killed in the streets or a gay bar was raided by the police.  It wasn’t until 1969 that the LGBT community even began to fight back, finally declaring to the world that “We, too, are human.  We, too, are struggling.  We, too, are not willing to put up with unfair treatment any longer”.

Now, with stories like those of Constance McMillen, Christine Daniels and Matthew Shepard spreading through our homes, igniting within our hearts the fires of compassion; with Ellen DeGeneres freely entertaining us with stories about her life with Portia De Rossi during her daytime talk show; films like TransAmerica, Puccini for Beginners and Brokeback Mountain winning critical acclaim; TV channels like LOGO or Bravo showing movies, documentaries, and stylized reality, Queer Culture is finally becoming part of our society’s vernacular.

A word like queer gets peoples’ attention, perks them up and shakes them out of their normal ways of thinking.  When something is queer, you at once know that it is unusual, set apart from the average, the ordinary, the norm.  When someone is queer, be it meant as a term for identifying sexual orientation, gender identification or just general state of being, you know that they are not like ‘everyone else’.  Love the term or hate it, whether it be used for good or for ill, queerness sets one apart from the crowd, defines one as being beyond normal, everyday, mundane definition.

Inside each of us is something that the world outside would prefer we hide.  Something ‘they’ say is abnormal, odd, unacceptable.  Something ‘they’ say we should be ashamed of.  Something that sets us apart, makes us different, unusual, or seemingly strange.  Too often, we listen and come to loathe that part of us, the ‘mutant’ being inside that someone, somewhere, has told us is less than Normal.  Too often, we take another person’s hate and turn it on ourselves.  Too often, we allow other people to determine who we are and how we live our lives.  We listen to the ones who tell us that our dreams are unrealistic, impossible, unattainable.  We listen to those who tell us that we aren’t pretty enough, smart enough, motivated enough; those who tell us that who we are simply isn’t enough.  Well, I have had enough.

It is easy to think in terms of normal and abnormal, majority and minority, ordinary and strange.  It is easy to divide the world into black and white, male and female, good and evil, gay and straight, for and against.  It is easy to draw the lines between Us and Them, firing away from the other side, protected by the powerful shields of Ignorance and Intolerance, Righteousness and Holiness.  It is easy to hate, easy to wound, easy to become embittered, jaded, hostile.  It is easy to hide within the confines of the community that accepts merely the majority of the things that make you, you.  It is easy to block out the rest of the world, as well as the rest of ourselves, hoping that they will just go away and leave us in peace.

Queer, as a philosophy, invites us to go against this instinct, crossing the lines between seemingly opposing forces in order to challenge us to live somewhere in the middle of them all.  It beckons us to re-examine the boxes that we have placed ourselves in, as well as the ones we have confined others to; reminding us that no matter how divided the world seems to be, nothing is ever quite as simple as it seems.  It challenges us to stand up not only for the queerness of others, but the oddities that reside quietly defiant within us as well.  For inside of all of us, in one way or another, we’re all at least a little queer.