Opinion: The Right To Define Me For Me, Not Me For You

What Is A Feminist?

Dictionary.com defines “feminism” as follows:

feminism:(n.) the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

However, any feminist will say that there is so much more to the movement than that. It’s more than a doctrine, it’s more than a belief, it’s more than a value system. Most feminists will say that the feminist movement is a lifestyle. It’s a freedom unparalleled. To be a feminist affects every aspect of day-to-day life whether single, married, a parent, a working professional, an entrepreneur, on welfare, homeless, a homeowner or otherwise engaged in any state of being as a woman.

I will vow, from personal experience, that it is completely possible to be a feminist, and not even know it.

For me, feminism seems more like a religion than most organized religions do. Feminist women often are more of a community to me than the neighborhoods in which I live. Feminist values provide more of a guiding light for decision-making in my day-to-day life than most anything else.

Every woman in my family, whether they know it or not is a feminist. Every woman in the world, whether they know it or not, wields an ultimate power; and for me, to be a feminist means the process of consistent recognition, understanding, and responsible wielding of this power on a day-to-day basis.

In short, feminism, for me, means the power to define oneself for oneself.

“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” — Audre Lorde

Some feminists continually struggle with finding and defining a universal definition of feminism. However, I believe the act of recognizing and defining feminism for oneself is, in itself, an important and necessary act of power. One that cannot and should not be denied. Feminism is about freedom, equality, and empowerment; and what better way to first taste all three of these rights than to embrace the right to self-define as a feminist?

A Woman’s Work

Allow me to be frank — I honestly believe, there is nothing, and I mean nothing a woman couldn’t do if put to task. Hormonally, women are built different. This is fact, which means that muscular development, certain bodily functions, as well as emotional capacities within women are bound to be different.

Not worse, not less than — DIFFERENT!

The notions that women are “better suited” to raise children, complete household tasks, cook, clean, etc. are merely excuses for the upkeep of those same archaic institutions that uphold standards of discrimination on the basis of race, ethnicity, or religion. These notions are wrong, and the institutions that uphold them are counterproductive and complete oxymorons.

Feminism is about highlighting these fallacies and deconstructing them, one by one.

In some ways, the Feminist Movement has succeeded. There are more women serving their communities as working professionals than ever before. It is common to see female entrepreneurs, cops, city workers, bankers, managers, leaders, military service members, health care professionals, teachers, writers, musicians, etc. than ever before. The number is ever-growing as women continue to take advantage of the multitude of educational opportunities being offered in today’s society. More and more women are actively expressing themselves as women, strong, independent, education women — women with opinions. More and more women are standing up, fighting back, and self-defining. More importantly, more and more men are coming to understand this as normal and necessary, not abnormal.

A women with a career is not merely occupying herself until the right man comes along to take care of her.

A women with dreams and aspirations is expected less and less to sacrifice those dreams in the name of her responsibility to stay at home and raise the kids.

These are but few of the struggles to which we owe the Feminist Movement thanks. Not that they’ve been completely eradicated, but moreso because it is becoming more and more common to wrestle against them and win.

However, these trends are more noticeable in first world countries. As Feminism gains exposure and becomes more and more of an international cause, some of the cruelties against women that still exist in today’s society are exposed as horrifying reminders of how far we have yet to go. I know, I know … there are a multitude of arguments for allowing cultures to preserve their standards of living. Who do we think we are pushing our way of life and beliefs on them, etc.? My friends, that’s a different blog for a different Tuesday.

It’s A Choice, Not An Expectation

For many women in the United States, there now exists a choice. Not a privilege to be granted, but a right to be recognized. Young women can now dream and aspire to careers in any field. Advanced education is expected and encouraged.

As opposed to being expected to simply forget and sacrifice their dreams and aspirations, many women can now expect and enjoy communication and compromise with their partners regarding child-rearing and child-care. In today’s economy, many families are doing whatever is necessary to attempt to ensure financial stability. The gender of the person matters less and less as long as someone –anyone — within the household has a stable job that provides the income needed for sustenance.

If you self-identify as a stay-at-home mom, that’s great! Being a full-time mom is one of the greatest jobs out there (in my opinion). It makes you no less of a Feminist than the woman next door who’s a full-time mom and a full-time lawyer. What matters is having the right to pursue whatever it is that makes you happy.

At the heart of Feminism lies the fight to self-define, no matter what that self-definition may be.

The result of that fight can be seen as we continue to see more and more women on the front lines of our country’s political, economic, and social development.

More and more women are enjoying the right to exercise their voice and express who they are.

Now, if we could just tackle the age-old issue of allowing our bodies and images to be packaged as commodities in the name of a dollar …