Musings: Tolerance vs. Acceptance

I have been thinking, in a random sort of way, about the difference between Tolerance and Acceptance.

First the difference – to use a couple of trivial examples: I ACCEPT that Beloved, despite being the ripe old age of 28, still decides to dye his hair colours that would make a hippie gasp, it’s part of the cuteness of him. I ACCEPT that he will burst into song for no apparent reason. I accept that he loves his shiny gadgets that we’ll never use but he gets so enthusiastic about. I ACCEPT his unholy love for all things spicy. I even ACCEPT his sudden obsessions that he will abandon within a couple of weeks after turning our lives upside down for them. I accept these things, they’re part of the things that make him who he is. They’re delightful little quirks that are a part of my life and I’m generally happy about.

I TOLERATE him being a morning person that will not be quiet before noon like any decent human being. I TOLERATE him putting away things before I’m finished with them. I TOLERATE his damn fishies. I TOLERATE him constantly borrowing my car because he will keep tinkering with his. I TOLERATE these things. They annoy me, they vex me and I’d much rather they go away and if exposed to them for any length of time I’m likely to get rather irritable. I don’t like these things, but I am prepared to endure them.

This is the difference. Acceptance is something we accept as part of life, part of society, part of people. It’s there and we don’t have a problem with it, we’re happy to share our space with it, happy to share our lives, our world with it.

Tolerance is something we endure. Tolerance is the trial, the chore, the annoyance. It’s something we wish would go away, something we avoid exposure to as much as possible. Something we deal with only as little as we can. [READ MORE FROM SPARKY AT WOMANIST MUSINGS]